The Fall

http://www.thephotographylink.com/archives/date/2008/09

So I've never written about why I moved from my hometown of Houston, Texas to Dallas... 

It's because of a guy.  

There. I said it. And looking back, it was the funniest, kookiest, quirkiest turn of events: In one weeks time (in the same month that I stated "I will never live in Dallas, Texas.") the owner of the condo that I was subletting went bankrupt, forcing me to move out, the position that I had at my law firm changed to a "firm-wide" position (meaning I could do it from any city our firm exists), and a guy from Dallas randomly (and I do mean randomly) called - determined to date (and from what he said {God love him} marry) me.

In one week - the tables began to turn. Life started moving quickly and, a few months later, I found myself in a city that I had sworn I would never live. 

The job was horrible... the boy and I were a disaster in the same city {we went from great to irrecoverable in FOUR days} and I was all alone. A native Houstonian, one who had built deep friendships and community, found herself all alone, in a place she had never planned to live.

I have learned that there is ONE, and I mean ONE explanation for Bermuda Triangle moments like that one: And that is The One... The One who had grown tired of my complacency, who was frustrated with my safe zones, and who, praise Him, loves me enough never to be satisfied with less than the best for me. That One said, "Ready or not... here I come. I am going to take you where you never dared to dream. I am going to stretch you more than you have ever been stretched. I am going to make you fully mine."

And so He has. 

Yesterday, on a run through an area of Dallas that has come to be so close to my heart, in a split second, a dog barked, the light hit, the song on my iPod changed, and I began to cry. Because, in that moment, I realized that in this place of no comfort zones, of many questions, of much confusion, I had fallen in love with our Lord all over again... and this time, the love was so much deeper.

I have been up with Him, I have been down with Him - but this time I was just with Him, and I felt Him with me... so close, so deep that it penetrated every fiber of my soul. The only response was tears. The only words that I could produce were "I love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for loving me." Knowing fully that, in a moment where words can't even do justice, I had just tasted the tiniest piece of the love that He has for me. I humbly say that I have no idea why He loves me that much, and I know He loves me ten trillion to the infinite degree times more than that. I praise Him that I will have eternity to wonder why, while thankfully basking in the truth that He does.

There will never be a love story more precious than this one. And I can honestly, fully and completely say that, although there are stories in my past that I don't like, I wouldn't trade any silly or sad story that I have for the fact that He allowed me to be lonely enough and longing long enough to taste His love. Because no matter what man comes into my life... and, even in typing this, I grow excited about the idea of loving him with the love I've been given... but, no matter who he is or when or how he arrives, I've already tasted the caviar... I've already driven the Bentley (pardon the Dallas analogies)…  I've felt the beauty, the weight, the consistency, the glory, the indescribable love of our Maker. This man, whoever he is and wherever he may be, will always be second fiddle and praise, I mean PRAISE our God for that, because let's be honest some days he won't even deserve that title. Our God has given me my fountain of love. I have met my Prince... I know Him... I've felt Him... His love is in me and; therefore, in obedience to Him, I will love like He loves me.

So praise Him... praise Him for the tears, the loneliness, the longing, the darkness, the questions, the confusion... praise Him that He allowed me to have only Him.... praise Him.

I don't know if you've found yourself in a similar situation lately or if you've been there before. But, if you feel as though the Lord is stretching you farther than you've ever been stretched, if you feel as though you're about to break… trust me - He is and you aren't.   

Because He loves me - because He loves you, He allows for seasons in our lives where every comfort zone is removed. He, by His grace, forces us to turn fully to Him - to rely fully on Him - to lean so far into Him that we fall... fall in love with Him all over again.

-Biblically Blonde